#2745: Obituary Editor explain

[Text on the top-left corner of a gray newspaper page. It is slightly skewed counterclockwise:]

Obituaries

The cool, attractive, universally beloved

editor of the obituary section has died,

hopefully of natural causes after a long

life. They take with them the password to the

heretofore unrevealed auto-post system.

They are survived by 8 billion heartbroken

people. Memorial services will be held

daily in all public spaces from now on.