September 13, 2022
#2672: What If? 2 Flowchart explain
[A large flowchart, with the first box in the top left corner.]
Box 1: Congratulations, you have acquired a copy of What if? 2! (out today, xkcd.com/whatif2)
[Arrow to Box 2]
Box 2: What do you want to do today?
[Arrow to Box 3] I don’t know
[Arrow to Box 4] Go to neighborhood party
[Arrow to Box 5] Brunch
Box 3: Reflect on your life
[Arrow to Box 6]
Box 4: Do you like your neighbor?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 78’] Yes
[Arrow to Box 7] No
Box 5: Where do you go?
[Arrow to Box 8] The Sun
[Arrow to Box 9] A diner
Box 6: What do you really want to do?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 43’] I want to shoot a laser at a sorceress
[Arrow to Box 10] I want a dog
[Arrow to Box 11] I want to tell people things about eggs
Box 7: What do you want to bring?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 70’] Jupiter
[Arrow to Box 12] Weird opinions
[Arrow to Box 13] My fake identity
Box 8: Are you wearing sunscreen?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 319’] Yes
[Arrow to Box 14] No
Box 9: How do you get there?
[Arrow to Box 15] Helicopter
[Arrow to Box 16 with the words ‘page 83’] Plane
[Arrow to Box 17] Car
Box 10: Get a dog
[Arrow to Box 18]
Box 11: What kinds of things about eggs?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 300’] True things
[Arrow to the words ‘page 258’, same words as from Box 19] False things
Box 12: Do you think bugs should get paid?
[Arrow to Box 3] No
[Arrow to the words ‘page 96’] Yes
Box 13: Have you commited any crimes?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 255’, same words as from Box 19] Not sure
[Arrow to Box 19] No
[Arrow to Box 20] Yes
Box 14: How do you want to visit?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 314’] Briefly, via teleporter
[Arrow to the words ‘page 323’] I want to land a probe on the surface
Box 15: Where do you sit in the helicopter?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 6’] On the rotor
[Arrow to Box 16] Inside
Box 16: Are you flying near any strong magnets?
[Arrow to Box 21] No
[Arrow to the words ‘page 171’] Yes
Box 17: How fast do you want to drive?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 180’] Fast
[Arrow to Box 22] Normal
[Arrow to the words ‘page 176’] With a bird
Box 18: Are you satisfied?
[Arrow to the word ‘Fulfillment!’, same word as from Boxes 26 and 29]
[Arrow to Box 23] No. I think we need more dogs.
Box 19: Do you want to?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 255’, same words as from Box 13] No
[Arrow to the words ‘page 258’, same words as from Box 11] Yes
Box 20: Travel back in time to undo your crimes
[Arrow to the words ‘page 277’]
Box 21: Okay, there’s the diner!
[Arrow to the words ‘page 128’] Keep driving forever
[Arrow to Box 24] Stop
Box 22: Does this road lead to Rome?
[Arrow to Box 25] Yes
[Arrow to the words ‘page 154’] No, but it should
[Arrow to Box 21] No
Box 23: Get more dogs
[Arrow to Box 26]
Box 24: What food do you order?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 303’] The Sun
[Arrow to the words ‘page 299’] Breadsticks
[Arrow to Box 27] Soup
[Arrow to the words ‘page 284’] Ammonia
[Arrow to the words ‘page 195’] A cloud
Box 25: Pick a different road
[Arrow to Box 22]
Box 26: Enough?
[Arrow to the word ‘Fulfillment!’, same word as from Boxes 18 and 29] Yes
[Arrow to Box 28] No. You can never have too many dogs.
Box 27: How much soup?
[Arrow to the words ‘page 197’] 1 bowl
[Arrow to the words ‘page 1’] 1040 bowls
Box 28: More dogs
[Arrow to Box 29]
Box 29: Enough?
[Arrow to the word ‘Fulfillment!’, same word as from Boxes 18 and 26]
[Arrow to the words ‘page 308] No. You can literally never have too many dogs. We should not stop until all that exists has been consumed by a happy, barking mass.