April 8, 2020
#2291: New Sports System
[Single wide frame representing a basketball court with a basketball hoop at each end. There are seven players running around the court, with a virtual ball in the bottom right corner (indicated as a dashed circle). Nine off-screen voices of “online viewers” are yelling instructions to the players. A caption is below the frame running nearly the full width of the frame.]
Viewer One: No!
Viewer Two: It’s on the–
Viewer Three: Look out!
[A player with thick hair and a goatee is “air-shooting” into the left-hand basket.]
Viewer Four: No!
[A player with thick hair is running to the right.]
Viewer Five: He’s right there
Viewer Five: Don’t run into–
[A player with no hair is air-dribbling to the right.]
Viewer Six: Go left!
Viewer Seven: Left!
Viewer Eight: Riiight!
[A player with thick hair and a full beard is facing left and jumping, hands raised to intercept a ball.]
[A player with no hair is facing left and crouching, reaching for a ball.]
[A player with no hair is making an alley-oop motion towards the right-hand basket.]
Viewer Nine: Stop dunking and find the ball!
[The virtual ball is slowly moving right, unseen by the players.]
[A player is hanging on the rim of the basket, making a dunking motion.]
Caption below the panel: No one liked my new sports system, in which each player is in a separate arena sharing a single virtual ball that they can’t see while online viewers yell instructions, but it was fun to watch while it lasted.