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April 8, 2020

#2291: New Sports System

New Sports System

[Single wide frame representing a basketball court with a basketball hoop at each end. There are seven players running around the court, with a virtual ball in the bottom right corner (indicated as a dashed circle). Nine off-screen voices of “online viewers” are yelling instructions to the players. A caption is below the frame running nearly the full width of the frame.]

Viewer One: No!

Viewer Two: It’s on the–

Viewer Three: Look out!

[A player with thick hair and a goatee is “air-shooting” into the left-hand basket.]

Viewer Four: No!

[A player with thick hair is running to the right.]

Viewer Five: He’s right there

Viewer Five: Don’t run into–

[A player with no hair is air-dribbling to the right.]

Viewer Six: Go left!

Viewer Seven: Left!

Viewer Eight: Riiight!

[A player with thick hair and a full beard is facing left and jumping, hands raised to intercept a ball.]

[A player with no hair is facing left and crouching, reaching for a ball.]

[A player with no hair is making an alley-oop motion towards the right-hand basket.]

Viewer Nine: Stop dunking and find the ball!

[The virtual ball is slowly moving right, unseen by the players.]

[A player is hanging on the rim of the basket, making a dunking motion.]

Caption below the panel: No one liked my new sports system, in which each player is in a separate arena sharing a single virtual ball that they can’t see while online viewers yell instructions, but it was fun to watch while it lasted.