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January 4, 2019

#2094: Short Selling

Short Selling

[Cueball and Ponytail are walking together, talking.]

Cueball: I don’t understand shorting stocks.

Ponytail: It’s like when you promise your firstborn to a witch for five magic beans.

[Ponytail close up]

Cueball (off-panel): Is that a common–

Ponytail: She’s a sucker, right? You know your awful kid will be worth one or two beans at best.

[Ponytail and Cueball stopped, facing each other]

Ponytail: But then it turns out you love your kid, a love worth 200 beans! You can’t afford that loss!

Ponytail: There’s only one way out:

Ponytail: You gotta fight the witch.

[Ponytail and Cueball stopped, facing each other]

Ponytail: So you send your kid up the beanstalk to battle the giant, who represents interest rates.

Cueball: This analogy is getting less helpful by the minute.

Ponytail: If only you’d somehow shorted my wisdom before you asked.