← Back

May 23, 2018

#1997: Business Update

Business Update

[Beret Guy, Ponytail, Hairy, Hairbun and Megan sit around a table, left to right. Beret Guy and Megan are sitting on chairs at the ends. All others are behind the table with no visible chairs. All characters face Beret Guy.]

Beret Guy: Quarterly reports are looking good.

Beret Guy: Our office is full of cash, we’re producing stocks faster than ever before, and our customers are experiencing rapid growth.

Beret Guy: Any updates?

[Closeup on Ponytail, facing left.]

Ponytail: Bad news: many of our assets were liquidated this morning due to a thermostat glitch.

Ponytail: Good news: the sink in the kitchen has stopped producing original content.

[Same as panel one, but characters are facing Megan.]

Beret Guy: How are our finances?

Megan: Our biggest source of revenue is our ongoing project to transmute lead into gold.

Megan: Our biggest expense is our project to transmute it back.

[Closeup on Beret Guy, facing right, offset to the left of the panel. Two characters speak from off-panel right.]

Beret Guy: Lastly, any luck getting the girl from The Ring to stop showing up in our video conferences?

Off-panel person 1: No, but honestly, she’s made some good contributions.

Off-panel person 2: Yeah, I think we should hire her.