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December 10, 2018

#2083: Laptop Issues

Laptop Issues

[Cueball, carrying a laptop, is walking past a sign with a right-pointing arrow reading “Tech Support”.]

Off panel voice #1: Oh no.

Off panel voice #2: What?

Off panel voice #1: This guy. He has the worst tech problems.

[Cueball standing at a tech support desk with an open laptop facing Hairy and Ponytail on the other side of the desk.]

Cueball: My laptop’s battery won’t hold a charge.

Hairy: We can replace it.

Cueball: Tried that. Now the new ones won’t either.

[Close-up of Cueball gesturing with left hand]

Cueball: Also, random files get corrupted on the first day of every month. Factory reset didn’t help.

Off panel voice: You weren’t kidding.

[Close-up of Cueball with right hand on chin, gesturing with left hand]

Cueball: When it’s plugged in, I get static shocks from my plumbing.

Off panel voice: What the…

Cueball: And it reboots if someone uses an arc welder nearby.

[Same tableau as second panel except that the laptop is slightly closed now.]

Cueball: Transitions® lenses go dark when exposed to the screen, and when I open too many tabs, it fogs nearby photographic film.

Hairy: We don’t usually do this, but I’ve gotten permission from my manager to have you and the laptop hurled into the ocean.

Cueball: That’s probably for the best.