#1809: xkcd Phone 5 explain

[An image of a smartphone with a common optical camera lens attached on its back is shown. Over the entire length the case is slightly rounded. There are several features visible as bottom like features at the top and bottom of the front as well a microphone like slit at the top. A sliding switch is visible on the side, and at the bottom there is a knob, a connector port and a small slit. Clockwise starting from the top left all the labels read:]

Hook shot

Bluetooth speaker

Stained-glass display

Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F

Soundproof

Can feel pain

E-ZPass partnership: Phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls

Foldable (once)

Screen transfers images to skin

Retina storage

Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon

Supercuts partnership: Trims hair fed into charging port

Squelch knob

IBM buckling-spring home button

Cot-caught merger switch

60x optical zoom camera

LORAN navigation

28-factor authentication

[Below the phone:]

Introducing

The xkcd Phone 5

We’re trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers®TM