December 27, 2017

#1934: Phone Security

[The content of a configuration screen on a smartphone is shown. All items listed are activated as indicated by green switches.]

Security Options

• Passcode to unlock (Set Code)
• Erase phone after ten failed unlock attempts

If stolen, phone can be remotely

• Tracked

• Erased

• Detonated

• If phone is stolen, erase data and play an earsplitting siren until the battery dies or is removed

If phone is stolen, do a fake factory reset. Then, in the background…

• …constantly request dozens of simultaneous rideshares to the phone’s location
• …automatically order food to phone’s location from every delivery place within 20 miles
• …if thief logs in to Facebook, send hostile messages to all their family members
• …automatically direct self-driving car to drive toward phone’s location at 5 mph
• …take photos of random objects at the thief’s address and post them as “free” on Craigslist and Nextdoor