#1672: Women on 20s explain

[Cueball is sitting at his laptop. Above him is the text he reads on the screen, then he speaks, and below that text is the list of women from his computer showing his three picks, each with a gray “drop-down menu” triangle to the right of the names. Below this, is his final spoken line. At the top of the panel is a small frame breaking the top left border with a caption:]

2015

Website: Petition: Replace Andrew “Trail of Tears” Jackson with a woman on the $20 for the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage in 2020.

Cueball: Hey, good idea!

Website:

Vote for your three picks:

1 Harriet Tubman

2 Eleanor Roosevelt

3 Rachel Carson

Cueball: Tubman for #1, definitely.

[An executive from the department of treasury, with a wee bit of hair on his head, stands behind a lectern. On the front of the lectern the top part of the image inside the seal for the department of treasury is visible inside a circle, showing the scales and the tip of the triangular band beneath it. The rest of this image is hidden below the panel frame. There is text written above this image. At the top of the panel is a small frame breaking the top left border with a caption:]

Soon…

Treasury Executive: After a flood of public interest, the Treasury has decided to feature a woman on our money!

Offscreen voice 1: Yay!

Treasury Executive: She will replace Hamilton on the $10.

Offscreen voice 1: Yay– wait, what? Why not the $20?

Offscreen voice 2: Are we mad at Hamilton?

Text above the seal: Treasury

[The executive with a hand on the lectern is seen from the side.]

Treasury Executive: The $10 was scheduled for the next redesign by a board made up of-

Offscreen voice 3: Can’t you just do the $20 next?

Treasury Executive: We will review the…

Offscreen voice 3: *Sigh*

Offscreen voice 4 (Steve): Put Martin Shkreli on the $5!

Offscreen voice 5: Shut up, Steve.

[The executive lifts both hands, the one over the lectern points a finger up. Again seen from the side. At the top of the panel is a small frame breaking the top left border with a caption:]

Later in 2015…

Treasury Executive: Wow, some musical came out, and now suddenly Hamilton has tons of fans.

Offscreen voice 6: So do the $20 next. Problem solved!

Treasury Executive: Maybe he and a woman can share the $10!

Offscreen voice 6: Are you serious.

[The executive, again with a hand on the lectern, is seen from the side. At the top of the panel is a small frame breaking the top left border with a caption:]

2016:

Treasury Executive: We’ve decided to put Harriet Tubman on the $20.

Offscreen voice 7: Perfect! Happy ending.

Treasury Executive: -After we do the new $10.

Offscreen voice 7: What?

[The executive again from the front behind the lectern. On the front of the lectern, only the text and the very top of the circle around the image can be seen.]

Treasury Executive: We’ll put a mural to women on the back of the $10. Hopefully, that will tide you over until we get to the $20?

Offscreen voice 8: Seriously? How is this so complicated? Just say “We’re putting Harriet Tubman on the $20,” then do it.

Text above the seal: Treasury

[The executive with hands down behind the lectern is seen from the side.]

Treasury Executive: We’ll do the $20 ASAP, but we can’t change the-

Offscreen voice 9: C’mon, your hands aren’t tied here. You’re the freaking Treasury. This is the one thing you’re definitely in charge of.

[The executive lifting a hand above the lectern is seen from the side.]

Treasury Executive: Oh, and we’re putting Andrew Jackson on the back.

Three offscreen voices: What.