January 8, 2016

#1627: Woosh

More substitutions that make reading the news more fun

Debate → Dance-off

Self driving → Uncontrollably swerving

Poll → Psychic reading

Candidate → Airbender

Drone → Dog

Vows to → Probably won’t

At large → Very large

Successfully → Suddenly

Expands → Physically expands

First

second

third-degree → Friggin’ awful

An unknown number → Like hundreds

Front runner → Blade runner

Global → Spherical

Years → Minutes

Minutes → Years

No indication → Lots of signs

Urged restraint by → Drunkenly egged on

Horsepower → Tons of horsemeat