← Back

January 5, 2015

#1469: UV


[[A character with hair, carrying a flashlight, approaches a sitting bald character, engrossed in a laptop computer.]]

Hair’d character: Our bathroom looks pretty clean, right?

Bald character: I think so. Why?

Hair’d character: I got a UV flashlight. Come look.

[[Together they exit panel left, hair’d character proudly brandishing the UV flashlight.

[[conversation continues off-panel]]

Off-panel voice: Looks fine.



Off-panel voice: ..oh my god.

[[Characters return to visible panel. Bald character looks back in fear.]]

Bald character: The toilet looked like the guy’s chest after the alien burst out.

Hair’d character: What do we DO?

[[Bald character supplicates calmness with arms]]

Bald character: We clean. Clean and clean and never stop.

Hair’d character: It won’t be enough. We should just burn the place down for the insurance money.

[[The hair’d character has begun dousing the floor with a can of gasoline]]

Bald character: Isn’t that wrong?

Hair’d character: My morality has evaporated under the harsh UV light.

[[A multistory building burns brightly, as the characters watch silently.]]

[[Bald character is using a smartphone.]]

Bald character: Ok, I’m googling insurance companies. Which one do you think pays the most?

Hair’d character: Let’s just try calling around.