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April 9, 2014

#1353: Heartbleed

Heartbleed

[[Two people are walking along, one is looking at her phone.]]

Person 1: Heartbleed must be the worst web security lapse ever.

Person 2: Worst so far. Give us time.

[[Still walking, first person is now holding her phone at her side.]]

Person 1: I mean, this bg isn’t just broken encryption. It lets website visitors make a server dispense random memory contents.

[[They stop walking and face each other.]]

Person 1: It’s not just keys. It’s traffic data. Emails. Passwords. Erotic fanfiction.

Person 2: Is

everything

compromised?

[[They begin walking again.]]

Person 1: Well, the attack is limited to data stored in computer memory.

Person 2: So paper is safe. And clay tablets.

Person 1: Our imaginations, too.

Person 2: See, we’ll be fine.