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September 25, 2013

#1269: Privacy Opinions

Privacy Opinions

Opinions on internet privacy

The philosopher:

[[Two women stand talking to each other.]]

Woman 1: “Privacy” is an impractical way to think about data in a digital world so unlike the one in which our soci-

Woman 2: SO BORED.

The crypto nut:

[[A figure stands behind another sitting at a desk, who is working a computer.]]

Sitting figure: My data is safe behind six layers of symmetric and public-key algorithms.

Standing figure: What data is it?

Sitting figure: Mostly me emailing with people about cryptography.

The conspiricist:

[[A figure stands talking to a woman.]]

Figure: These leaks are just the tip of the iceberg. There’s a warehouse in Utah where the NSA has the entire iceberg. I don’t know how they got it there.

The nihilist:

[[A woman stands, addressing the ‘camera’.]]

Woman: Joke’s on them. Gathering all this data on me as if anything I do means anything.

The exhibitionist:

[[Two official-looking figures are looking at a console. One is sitting; another is standing behind the chair.]]

Console screen: Mmmm, I sure hope the NSA isn’t watching me bite into these juicy strawberries!! Oops, I dropped some on my shirt! Better take it off. Google, are you there? Google, this lotion feels soooo good.

Operator: Um.

The sage:

[[Beret guy is sitting with a friend at a restaurant table.]]

Beret guy: I don’t know or care what data anyone has about me. Data is imaginary. This burrito is real.