#1269: Privacy Opinions explain

Opinions on Internet Privacy

The Philosopher:

Megan: “Privacy” is an impractical way to think about data in a digital world so unlike the one in which our soci-

Ponytail: ** So bored. **

The Crypto Nut:

Cueball: My data is safe behind six layers of symmetric and public-key algorithms.

Friend: What data is it?

Cueball: Mostly me emailing with people about cryptography.

The Conspiracist:

[Cueball talks to Megan.]

Cueball: These leaks are just the tip of the iceberg. There’s a warehouse in Utah where the NSA has the entire iceberg. I don’t know how they got it there.

The Nihilist:

Megan: Joke’s on them, gathering all this data on me as if anything I do means anything.

The Exhibitionist:

[Cueball is watching a surveillance console, Officer Ponytail stands behind him.]

Console: Mmmm, I sure hope the NSA isn’t watching me bite into these juicy strawberries!! Oops, I dripped some on my shirt! Better take it off. Google, are you there? Google, this lotion feels soooo good.

Cueball: Um.

The Sage:

[Beret Guy and Cueball sitting at a table. Beret Guy is holding a burrito.]

Beret Guy: I don’t know or care what data anyone has about me. Data is imaginary. This burrito is real.