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August 26, 2013

#1256: Questions


((This strip is a rectangular word cloud, titled ‘Questions found in Google autocomplete’. Embedded in the cloud are 5 single panels, with illustrated questions. These are described at the end. Questions are given in roughly columnar order. None of the questions have question marks.))

Questions found in Google Autocomplete

Why do whales jump

Why are witches green

Why are there mirrors above beds

Why do I say uh

Why is sea salt better

Why are there trees in the middle of fields

Why is there not a Pokemon MMO

Why is there laughing in TV shows

Why are there doors on the freeway

Why are there so many svchost.exe running

Why aren’t there any countries in antarctica

Why are there scary sounds in Minecraft

Why is there kicking in my stomach

Why are there two slashes after HTTP

Why are there celebrities

Why do snakes exist

Why do oysters have pearls

Why are ducks called ducks

Why do they call it the clap

Why are Kyle and Cartman friends

Why is there an arraow on Aang’s head

Why are text messages blue

Why are there mustaches on clothes

Why are there mustaches on cars

Why are there mustaches everywhere

Why are there so many birds in Ohio

Why is there so much rain in Ohio

Why is Ohio weather so weird

Why are there male and female bikes

Why are there bridesmaids

Why do dying people reach up

Why aren’t there varicose arteries

Why are old Klingons different

Why is programming so hard

Why is there a 0 ohm resistor

Why do Americans hate soccer

Why do rhymes sound good

Why do trees die

Why is there no sound on CNN

Why aren’t Pokemon real

Why aren’t bullets sharp

Why do dreams seem so real

Why aren’t there dinosaur ghosts

Why do iguanas die

Why do testicles move

Why are there psychics

Why are hats so expensive

Why is there caffeine in my shampoo

Why do your boobs hurt

Why aren’t economists rich

Why do Americans call it soccer

Why are my ears ringing

Why are there so many Avengers

Why are the Avengers fighting the X men

Why is Wolverine not in the Avengers

Why are there ants in my laptop

Why is Earth tilted

Why is space black

Why is outer space so cold

Why are there pyramids on the moon

Why is NASA shutting down

Why is there Hell if God forgives

Why are there tiny spiders in my house

Why do spiders come inside

Why are there huge spiders in my house

Why are there lots of spiders in my house

Why are there spiders in my room

Why are there so many spiders in my room

Why do spider bites itch

Why is dying so scary

Why is there no GPS in laptops

Why do knees click

Why aren’t there E grades

Why is isolation bad

Why do boys like me

Why don’t boys like me

Why is there always a Java update

Why are there red dots on my thighs

Why is lying good

Why is GPS free

Why are trees tall

Why are there slaves in the Bible

Why do twins have different fingerprints

Why are Americans afraid of dragons

Why is there lava

Why are there swarms of gnats

Why is there phlegm

Why are there so many crows in Rochester, MN

Why is psychic weak to bug

Why do children get cancer

Why is Poseidon angry with Odysseus

Why is there ice in space

Why are there female Mr Mimes

Why is there an owl in my backyard

Why is there an owl outside my window

Why is there an owl on the dollar bill

Why do owls attack people

Why are AK47s so expensive

Why are there helicopters circling my house

Why are there gods

Why are there two Spocks

Why is Mt Vesuvius there

Why do they say T minus

Why are there obelisks

Why are wrestlers always wet

Why are oceans becoming more acidic

Why is Arwen dying

Why aren’t my quail laying eggs

Why aren’t my quail eggs hatching

Why aren’t there any foreign military bases in America

Why is life so boring

Why are my boobs itchy

Why are cigarettes legal

Why are there ducks in my pool

Why is Jesus white

Why is there liquid in my ear

Why do Q tips feel good

Why do good people die

Why are ultrasounds important

Why are ultrasound machines expensive

Why is stealing wrong

Why is YKK on all zippers

Why is HTTPS crossed out in red

Why is there a line through HTTPS

Why is there a red line through HTTPS on Facebook

Why is HTTPS important

Why are there weeks

Why do I feel dizzy

Why are dogs afraid of fireworks

Why is there no king in England

[[We see a figure from the torso up, with arms outstretched.]]

Figure: Why aren’t my arms growing

[[A woman stands with a grey ghost on either side of her.]]

Woman: Why are there ghosts

[[Beret guy stands, looking at a squirrel.]]

Beret guy: Why are there squirrels

[[A figure stands.]]

Figure: Why is sex so important.]]

[[We see a woman from the torso up.]]

Woman: Why aren’t there guns in Harry Potter