#1288: Substitutions

Substitutions that make reading the news more fun:

Witnesses â these dudes I know

Allegedly â kinda probably

New study â Tumblr post

Rebuild â avenge

Space â Spaaace

Google Glass â Virtual Boy

Smartphone â Pokédex

Electric â atomic

Senator â elf-lord

Car â cat

Election â eating contest

Congressional leaders â river spirits

Homeland Security â Homestar Runner

Could not be reached for comment â is guilty and everyone knows it