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July 25, 2012

#1086: Eyelash Wish Log

Eyelash Wish Log

((The panel appears to be the log from a ‘wish bureau’.))

Eyelash Wish Log

Wish Bureau ID #:

        21118378

     Date range:

    Jan-Apr 2012

[[The ‘Wisher’ is black hat guy.]]

Wisher

Date Wish

Jan 09 That wishing on eyelashes worked

Jan 12 A pony

Jan 15 Unlimited wishes

Jan 19 Revocation of rules prohibiting unlimited wishes

Jan 20 A finite but arbitrarily large number of wishes

Jan 28 The power to dictate the rules governing wishes

Feb 05 Unlimited eyelashes

Feb 06 That wish-granting entities be required to interpret wishes in accordance with the intent of the wisher

Feb 08 That wish-granting entities be incapable of impatience

Feb 12 Unlimited breadsticks

Feb 12 Veto power over others’ wishes

Feb 19 Veto power over others’ wishes and all congressional legislation

Feb 23 The power to override any veto

Feb 27 The power to see where any shortened url goes without clicking

Feb 29 The power to control the direction news anchors are looking while they talk

Mar 07 The power to introduce arbitrary error into Nate Silver’s predictions

Mar 15 A house of stairs

Mar 23 A universe which is a replica of this one sans rules against meta-wishes

Mar 29 Free transportation to and from that universe

Apr 02 A clear explanation of how wish rules are structured and enforced

Apr 07 The power to banish people into the TV show they’re talking about

Apr 08 Zero wishes

Apr 15 Veto power over clocks

Apr 22 A Pokéball that works on strangers’ pets