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July 23, 2012

#1085: ContextBot


[[A social network feed with four status updates from four different people. Each one has a reply from the same account, which is called ‘ContextBot’, underneath.]]

Close-up face w

glasses: The things I put up with…

ContextBot: (His building’s WiFi doesn’t reach the bathroom.)


female couple: You’d think by now I’d have learned never to trust anyone.

ContextBot: (She downloaded a torrent that turned out to be an encrypted .rar and a ilnk to a survey.)

Blonde girl w

bangs: I officially give up.

ContextBot: (She hit alt-tab to hide Minecraft at work and accidentally dropped a stack of diamond into lava.)

Spiky hair guy: Sighhhh

ContextBot: (He thought these grapes were seedless.)

Everyone stopped complaining about Google’s data-gathering when they launched ContextBot, a system which replies to vague, enigmatic social network posts with context from the poster’s life.

{{Title text: If you read all vaguebooking

vaguetweeting with the assumption that they’re saying everything they can without revealing classified military information, the internet gets way more exciting.}}