#1085: ContextBot explain

[A social network feed with four status updates from four different people with profile picture. Each status has an arrow going down and right to a reply underneath them, all from the same account, which is called ContextBot. It also has a profile picture with three people standing behind a see-through material with a hole in it. The person on the left is not behind the part with hole and is thus completely greyed out. The other two only have their legs covered, the rest is thus not greyed out because it is behind the hole. The left is a Cueball, the middle may have glasses, and the right has hair. Below them is a black band in which the name ContextBot is written in white.]

Close-up face with hair and glasses: The things I put up with…

ContextBot: (His building’s WiFi doesn’t reach the bathroom.)

Cueball and Megan holding each other: You’d think by now I’d have learned never to trust anyone.

ContextBot: (She downloaded a torrent that turned out to be an encrypted .rar and a link to a survey.)

Blondie: I officially give up.

ContextBot: (She hit alt-tab to hide Minecraft at work and accidentally dropped a stack of diamond into lava.)

Hairy: Sighhhh

ContextBot: (He thought these grapes were seedless.)

[Caption below the panel]

Everyone stopped complaining about Google’s data-gathering when they launched ContextBot, a system which replies to vague, enigmatic social network posts with context from the poster’s life.