February 15, 2012
#1017: Backward in Time explain
When I have a boring task to get through — a three-hour lecture, a giant file download, or a long term point goal in fitocracy — I use this formula to convert the percentage completed (p) into a date:
T=(Current Date) - (e^(20.3444*p^3+3) - e^3) years
When the task is 0% done, it gives today’s date, and as I make progress, I move further and further back in time
(inverse given in lighter colors)
Inverse: p = sqrt((ln(T+e^3)-3)/20.3444)
[Line Graph explaining the correlation between completion percentages and temporal deltas.]
0% = now (Date of comic is 2012-02-14T00:00-0500, approx. 1329195600 UNIX)
10% = September 2011
20% = 2008
30% = 1997
40% = 1958
50% = 1776
60% = 405 AD
70% = 22,000 years ago
80% = 671,000 years ago
90% = 55 million years ago
100% = 13.8 billion years ago
It moves slowly through the first few years, then steadily accelerates. I tuned the formula so the time spent in each part of the past is loosely proportional to how well I know it. This means I hit familiar landmarks with each bit of progress, giving me a satisfying sense of movement.
[The following are panels detailing completion percentages, correlated time periods, and notable events from this time period.]
7.308% December 18, 2011
Around this time:
Kim Jong-Il dies. US leaves Iraq.
31.12% February 1995
Around this time:
Windows 95 debuts. OJ found not guilty.
47.91% 1844
Around this time:
Rubber vulcanized, bicycle invented, wrench patented.
70.33% 24,000 years ago
Around this time:
Caves painted, ceramic art made. Neanderthals extinct.
90.42% 68 million years ago
Around this time:
First flowering plants. Chicxulub impact kills off most dinosaurs.
100% 13.76 billion years ago
Around this time:
Universe begins. First stars ignite.
Download complete.
[Cueball watches a download progress on a laptop in amazement and happiness. Megan stands nearby and looks at Cueball with a bemused posture.]
Cueball: Swoosh! Watching all that time blur past is such a rush!
Megan: So…you’ve tried to make an extreme sport out of…waiting.
Cueball: Swoosh!