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August 8, 2011

#935: Missed Connections

Missed Connections

((The page is set up like the missed connections area of Craigslist, with a list of messages from an individual to a person they weren’t able to communicate with at the time.))

Personals > Missed Connections

You: Clinging to hood of your stolen wienermobile, trying to reach into engine to unstick throttle

Me: Screaming, diving out of the way

You: Vaguely human silhouette

Me: At bottom of wishing well with harpoon gun

You: Confused UDP packet

Me: Cisco router in 45.170

16 block

You: Baddest fuckin’ Juggalo at Violent J’s party

Me: Nancy Pelosi (D-Ca)

You: Getting married to me

Me: Also getting married, but distracted by my phone

You: Cute boy on corner of 4th & Main, 5'11, 169lbs, social security number 078-05-1120, pockets contained $2.09 in change, keys, and a condom. Retinal scan attached

Me: Driving street view van

You: George Herman “Babe” Ruth

Me: Fellow Time Lord. Saw your tardis on third moon of «Sentence cuts off, partially obscured by bottom of panel»