#856: Trochee Fixation explain

Jill: Robot ninja! Pirate doctor laser monkey! Narwhal zombie badger hobo bacon kitty captain penguin raptor Jesus!

Megan: We’d been seeing this brain damage for years, but only recently did our linguists identify the pattern behind it.

Megan: The patients fixate on animals and types of people whose names are trochees (two syllables, with the accent on the first).

The malfunction causes a rush of dopamine whenever these trochees are heard or spoken.

[Chart shows “internet” and “brain,” with arrows marked “trochees” traveling both ways between them. An arrow marked “dopamine” loops from the brain back to the brain.]

The warning signs appear in childhood:

[Jill is sitting in front of a TV.]

Jill: Yeah! Mighty teenage morphin’ ninja power mutant turtle rangers!

Social reinforcement focuses the fixation on a few dozen words.

Cueball (off-panel): Is there a cure?

[Jill is reclining under a big machine pointed at her face.]

Megan: We’re about to try a radical trocheeotomy.

Cueball: Rip out her vocal chords? I’m in favor.

Megan: No, we’re modifying her vocabulary* to erase the words she’s fixated on.

*Digitoneurolinguistic hacking! It’s totally real! Ask Neal Stephenson.

Megan: Either the gap will be filled by normal words, or she’ll just generate a new set of trochees.

Megan: Here goes.

[She pulls the lever on a large panel.]

kachunk bzzzZZZZZZ

[Jill is waking up.]

Jill: …GzZhRmPh …

Jill:…banjo turtle!

Jill: Jetpack ferret pizza lawyer! Dentist hamster wombat plumber turkey jester hindu cowboy hooker bobcat scrapple!

Megan (off-panel): Sigh.

Megan: Time for plan B.

Cueball: Someone get a brick.