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February 16, 2011

#861: Wisdom Teeth

Wisdom Teeth

Guy, on phone: Hey! Know how you’ve been bugging me to play Minecraft for the past year? I’m game.

Girl, on phone: But you said you didn’t want to “get hooked and spend days on end moving virtual cubes around while sitting motionless.” What changed?

Guy, on phone: I’m having my wisdom teeth out, and I’ll be useless and doped up on painkillers for the next few days, so that actually sounds like the perfect distraction.

Girl, on phone: Oh. I’ll set you up on our server!

72 hours later…

[[Girl sitting at computer.]]

Girl, on phone: Hey – starting to feel better? Enjoying the game? Let’s see what you’ve… What the hell? Where IS everything?

[[View of a Minecraft screen showing a vast empty expanse of land.]]

Girl, offscreen: … You made the entire continent perfectly flat?

Guy, offscreen: And sorted it into layers.

Girl, offscreen: …

Guy, offscreen: I feel good about things. This is a good game.

[[Guy sitting on the floor at his laptop, bleeding from the mouth, surrounded by bloody wadded-up tissues and holding a bottle of medication.]]

Girl, on phone: … What exactly is in the painkillers they gave you?

Guy, woozy: I can’t read the label because I’m a hologram.