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December 30, 2011

#997: Wait Wait

Wait Wait


Stockpiled in case Peter Sagal, host of NPR’s Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, does something newsworthy in 2012.

((Series of above-the-fold newspapers follows; Each has a headline, picture in most of them, and an explanation))

Wait Wait Don’t Shoot Me

[[A fierce Peter Sagal in a balaclava brandishes a gun in a supermarket]]

NPR’s Sagal in Whole Foods hostage standoff.

Wait Wait Don’t Vote For Me

Peter Sagal quits race for GOP top spot

[[A sullen and defeated Peter Sagal surrounded by supporters admits defeat]]

Wait Wait Don’t Judge Me

Sagal opens up about his Kermit fantasy.

[[Stock profile images of Peter Sagal and Kermit the Frog]]

Wait Wait Don’t Fire Me

[[Stock profile image of Peter Sagal]]

Peter Sagal let go after racist tirade.

Wait Wait Don’t Cancel Me

NPR axing news quiz.

[[NPR spokesperson delivering announcement]]

Wait Wait Don’t Interrupt Me

Sagal stabs Carl Kasell in on-air dispute.

[[Peter Sagal mid-attack with a knife]]

Wait Wait Don’t Look At Me

[[Peter Sagal with a skin condition]]

Peter Sagal’s Poison Ivy Ordeal

Peter Sagal: “My ‘Nam”

Wait Wait Don’t Friend Me

Peter Sagal deletes his Facebook account.

[[Person holding up a laptop with an “Facebook account not found” screen]]

Wait Wait Don’t Seduce Me

How Lakshmi Singh stole Sagal’s Heart.

[[A wistful Lakshmi Singh being left by a sullen Peter Sagal]]

Wait Wait Don’t Leave Me

[[A wistful Peter Sagal being left by a furious Beth Sagal]]

Sagal’s wife out after affair

Wait Wait Don’t Spray Me

Police Raid Sagal’s Occupy NPR protest

[[Scummy policeman in riot gear spraying Peter Sagal in the face point blank with what is essentially a food product]]

Wait Wait Don’t Indict Me

Sagal, five others named in cash-for-tote-bags scandal

[[Peter Sagal doing a perp walk]]

Wait Wait Don’t Clone Me

Peter Sagal ‘Outraged’ over DNA harvesting.

[[Fiery Peter Sagal, missing a small amount of DNA, at a podium]]

Wait Wait Don’t Bust Me

Peter Sagal’s ghost captured

[[Ghostbusters, careful not to cross the streams, capture the ghost of Peter Sagal]]

Wait Wait Don’t Dissect Me

Snoozing Sagal nearly snuffed in autopsy snafu

[[Peter Sagal running away from from a very surprised pathologist]]

Peter Sagal: “I ain’t dead!”

Wait Wait Don’t Objectify Me

Peter Sagal is more than just a piece of meat

Wait Wait Don’t Beatify Me

[[Peter Sagal shakes his fist at a picture of the pope]]

Peter Sagal Rebukes Pope

Wait Wait Don’t Me

Peter Sagal Accidentally

[[Peter Sagal in a blank vacant]]

Wait Wait Don’t Speak Its Name

[[eyes… Eyes… AAAHHH]]

Peter Sagal wakes Eldritch terror

Peter Sagal:“AAAAAAAA”

Wait Wait Even For NPR This Is A Bit Much

This American Life to document the road to recovery for those who suffer the trauma of losing on Wait Wait