December 30, 2011
#997: Wait Wait explain
Headlines
Stockpiled in case Peter Sagal, host of NPR’s Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, does something newsworthy in 2012.
[Series of above-the-fold newspapers follows; Each has a headline, picture in most of them, and an explanation.]
[First row, first paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Shoot Me
[A fierce Peter Sagal in a balaclava brandishes a gun in a supermarket.]
NPR’s Sagal in Whole Foods hostage standoff.
[First row, second paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Vote For Me
Peter Sagal quits race for GOP top spot
[A sullen and defeated Peter Sagal surrounded by supporters admits defeat.]
[First row, third paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Judge Me
Sagal opens up about his Kermit fantasy.
[Stock profile images of Peter Sagal and Kermit the Frog.]
[First row, fourth paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Fire Me
[Stock profile image of Peter Sagal.]
Peter Sagal let go after racist tirade.
[Second row, first paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Cancel Me
NPR axing news quiz.
[NPR spokesperson delivering announcement.]
[Second row, second paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Interrupt Me
Sagal stabs Carl Kasell in on-air dispute.
[Peter Sagal mid-attack with a knife.]
[Second row, third paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Look At Me
[Peter Sagal with a skin condition.]
Peter Sagal’s Poison Ivy Ordeal
Peter Sagal: “My ‘Nam”
[Second row, fourth paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Friend Me
Peter Sagal deletes his Facebook account.
[Person holding up a laptop with an “Facebook account not found” screen.]
[Third row, first paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Seduce Me
How Lakshmi Singh stole Sagal’s Heart.
[A wistful Lakshmi Singh being left by a sullen Peter Sagal.]
[Third row, second paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Leave Me
[A wistful Peter Sagal being left by a furious Beth Sagal.]
Sagal’s wife out after affair
[Third row, third paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Spray Me
Police Raid Sagal’s Occupy NPR protest
[Scummy policeman in riot gear spraying Peter Sagal in the face point blank.]
[Third row, fourth paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Indict Me
Sagal, five others named in cash-for-tote-bags scandal
[Peter Sagal doing a perp walk.]
[Fourth row, first paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Clone Me
Peter Sagal ‘Outraged’ over DNA harvesting.
[Fiery Peter Sagal, missing a small amount of DNA, at a lectern.]
[Fourth row, second paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Bust Me
Peter Sagal’s ghost captured
[Ghostbusters, careful not to cross the streams, capture the ghost of Peter Sagal.]
[Fourth row, third paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Dissect Me
Snoozing Sagal nearly snuffed in autopsy snafu
[Peter Sagal running away from from a very surprised pathologist.]
Peter Sagal: “I aten’t dead”
[Fourth row, fourth paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Objectify Me
Peter Sagal is more than just a piece of meat
[Fifth row, first paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Beatify Me
[Peter Sagal shakes his fist at a picture of the pope.]
Peter Sagal Rebukes Pope
[Fifth row, second paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Me
Peter Sagal Accidentally
[Peter Sagal on a blank background upside-down.]
[Fifth row, third paper.]
Wait Wait Don’t Speak Its Name
[eyes… Eyes… AAAHHH.]
Peter Sagal wakes Eldritch terror
Peter Sagal:“AAAAAAAA”
[Fifth row, fourth paper.]
Wait Wait Even For NPR This Is A Bit Much
This American Life to document the road to recovery for those who suffer the trauma of losing on Wait Wait