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April 9, 2010

#725: Literally


[[A person is talking to a friend.]]

Person: I was literally glued to my seat through the entire–

Off-Panel: HAH!


[[The off-panel voice came from a scary guy with wild hair and a big beard.]]

Person: Who are you?

Scary Guy: Eighteen years I’ve watched you!

Scary Guy: Waiting!

Ever since that day in seventh grade when you humiliated me.

[[We see the scene from seventh grade. Younger, normal-looking scary guy is standing with a girl; the younger version of the person he’s addressing is standing with a friend.]]

Young Scary Guy: I told him and he literally EXPLODED!

Young Person: Uh, unless he physically BURST, you mean “figuratively.”

Friend: Hah.


Scary Guy: I knew one day you’d slip, and I vowed I’d be there to see you fall. HOW DOES IT FEEL?

Person: You are literally the craziest person I’ve ever met.

Scary Guy: You did it again!

Person: No, I didn’t.