April 21, 2010

#730: Circuit Diagram

((A large and complicated circuit diagram.))

[[In the upper left corner there is a map scale, labeled with 1 mi (1 km).

Underneath the scale is an antenna symbol that leads down to a blender, an Arduino; labeled with “Arduino, just for blog cred”; and a chip; “Most expensive chip available”.

To the right of the antenna there is the symbol for an inductor that has it’s lower terminal going into a the left terminal of pattern that looks like a highway cloverleaf. The upper terminal leads to a line that is going to the upper terminal of that cloverleaf and to a battery symbol (with the + and - symbols on the wrong ends) with a value of √2V. The right terminal of the cloverleaf is going into a resistor symbol label “120Ω or to taste”. Connected to the other terminals of the resistor and battery is a switch that is labeled “glue open”. The bottom of the two lines has a transistor with two emitters, one P and one N, and no collector. The P-type emitter is connected to the top line and a jar of scarab beetles. Above the beetles is a resistor labeled “brown blue orange”. To the right is an unlabeled resistor with a center tap going into a capacitor, with a ground on the other end. Above the capacitor is a diode, and below an inductor. To the right is another inductor. The two inductors and ground are all covered by a “solder blob”. The rightmost component is a “666 timer” that has pin 5 going into a question mark.

Back to the left side, below and to the left of the cloverleaf is a compass rose. The bottom terminal of the cloverleaf is connected to a battery, labeled 50V, with grounds on both sides. To the right of the battery is a long horizontal wire that is labeled “pull this wire really tight.” That wire is hooked up to a vertical wire that connects to the N-type emitter of the transistor above it. To the right is an AC source that is labeled 240V, shorted out, with a label on the short “omit this if you’re a wimp.” To the right of that is an inductor that is labeled with “11kg”, a batman symbol, and a squirrel.

Back to the left end of the diagram, where the blender is, there is a wire that is labeled as a distance 3

8" from the wire with the 50V battery. To the right there is a frowny face, then a vertical wire with a 90 degree bend labeled “caution ↱”. That leads into a balloon. Under the balloon is an inductor symbol with a line on the bottom edge labeled as “warm front”.

Underneath the blender and to the right of the Arduino is a resistor labeled “ë”. To the right is an electric eel, a capacitor, an unlabeled resistor, and a gob of hot glue attached to a chip with an inverter hooked to an XOR gate, both with feedback into each other. Under the electric eel is a neck strap. To the right of the XOR gate and inverter is a bridge rectifier labeled as “Moral rectifier” to the right again is a bottle of magic smoke, under that a fishing bobber and then a broken wire labeled with a question mark.

Under the most expensive chip available there is a vertical wire labeled with “electrons single file”. To the right is a switch labeled “hire someone to open and close switch real fast.” To the right of that is a contact labeled “touche tongue here”. Below that is a resistor labeled “5Ω (decoy)” with only one terminal connected. To the right of the contact is a methyl group attchaed to a wire. To the right of the methyl group is a complex mesh of 1Ω resistors labeled with “oh, so you think you’re such a whiz at EE201?”

Connected to the wire labeled “electrons single file” is a wire bent in a U shape with an upside-down ground on the end. To the right is a flux capacitor with the bottom wire labeled I-95. To the right of that is a wire labeled yarn, then an arena with two diodes going in and one leaving. The right diode has a ground on its anode labeled “bury deep, but not too deep.” To the right of that is a motor labeled vibrator, resistor with a value of π, and a 500V AC source.

Under the flux capacitor is a wire that leads out of frame with a label “← to center of sun”. To the right is a 55 MPH speed limit sign, then an SR latch (flip-flop) labeled “may use an actual sandal instead”. Connected to the Q of the SR latch is a holding pen and to the inverting Q output is a wire in a knot, a resistor labeled “8mm”, a resistor symbol labeled “not a resistor; wire just does this”, and a motor symbol labeled “to scale”.

Under the wire that leads off to the center of the sun is a tangled mess of wires connected and jumping over each other, then a photo diode labeled “tear collector”. Under the tear collector is a wire in the shape of a ECG. To the right is a light bulb, a capacitor-looking symbol labeled 3 liters, a resistor labeled yes, an unlabeled inductor, a resistor with a question mark as a label. To the right of all that is an inductor labeled “take off shirt while wiring this part. Ooh, yeah, I like that.” Finally, in the lower right hand corner is a ground symbol immersed in a beaker of holy water.]]