November 17, 2010
#820: Five-Minute Comics: Part 2
Because of a family illness, instead of regular comics, this week I’ll be sharing some strips that I drew as part of a game I played with friends. Each comic had to be written and drawn in five minutes.
-- Randall
((A series of comics are arrayed haphazardly. They will be tackled top to bottom, left to right, approximately. Strips will be separated by two new lines.))
[[A ninja is hiding under a diving board as a man runs along it.]]
[[The man jumps on the end of the board and hits the ninja in the head, knocking him into the pool.]]
[[The ninja floats in the water. A bullet passes through the man’s head.]]
«thwipp»
[[The man is lying bleeding on the diving board, the ninja is still unconscious on the pool.]]
[[A sniper is at the top of a hill. The sign in front of the hill says “Grassy Knoll”.]]
[[Someone is pointing at the diagram of the previous panel.]]
Off-panel voice: Wait, so
what
does this have to do with 9
11, again?
Person: I
said
I’m
getting
there!
[[A man is studying a woman.]]
Man: You look different.
Man: You have this… glow about you.
[[They stare in silence.]]
[[A baby falls out of the woman.]]
«plop»
Woman: Cogito ergo cogito.
Off-panel voice: Playing it safe, huh?
[[Two ghosts are standing in front of a woman at a door, each carrying a bag. They are children dressed up.]]
Children: Trick or treat!
[[The woman doesn’t move.]]
Child: Um hi. Why are you just standing there?
Other Child: Candy?
[[Another silent panel as the children stare up at the woman.]]
[[The second child looks in their bag.]]
Other Child: Oh God, my bag of candy.
Other Child: It’s filling with blood.
Child: We should go.
[[A jet is flying across the panel.]]
Pilot: Bail out! Bail out! Bail out!
[[The pilot and copilot have buckets, and are bailing water out of the cockpit.]]
The following is a dramatization of real events.
[[A person is at a counter, with several jars.]]
Person: AAAAAAAAAAAAA I’m making a sandwich! AAAAAAAAAA!
[[Two people are carrying lightsabers and wearing robes.]]
Person: Oh God. My eyes won’t focus right! And your robe looks… really dirty!
My blacklightsaber was not a success.
[[A person is standing.]]
Person: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
Off-screen voice: It seems we happen to be all ladies, actually.
Person: … in that case, this defense is going to appear extremely ill-advised.
[[Darth Vader is sitting between two people, at a table.]]
Person: Your sad devotion to that ancient religion hasn’t hleped you conjur up the stolen data tapes, or given you –
Darth Vader:
Hey.
Wicca is a legitimate belief system!
[[Darth Vader is drawing a pentagram on the table.]]
Person: What are you –
Darth Vader: Putting a hex on your family.