November 15, 2010
#819: Five-Minute Comics: Part 1
Because of a family illness, instead of regular comics, this week I’ll be sharing some strips that I drew as part of a game I played with friends. Each comic had to be written and drawn in five minutes. – Randall
—-Comic #1—-
[[A man and a woman stand facing each other.]]
Man: Jupiter will make its closest approach to Earth in decades.
[[The man points behind the woman, and the woman turns around.]]
Man: In fact, here it comes now!
[[Jupiter, about the size of the characters’ heads, hovers into the frame at about head-height.]]
Jupiter: Hey, guys.
[[Jupiter continues to hover through the frame as the characters watch it go.]]
Jupiter: Anyone need a gravitational slingshot?
Woman: No, I’m good.
Jupiter: Aight.
—-Comic #2—-
[[A man sits on a box, playing a guitar.]]
Man: …Now I don’t blame him ‘cause he ran and hid, – but the meanest thing that he ever did – was before he left, he went and named me “Trig.”
—-Comic #3—-
[[A man looks down a well.]]
Man: Oh God, a little girl is trapped down this well!
[[The man runs off screen.]]
[[He returns, leading a pony.]]
Man: It’s okay, we got you that pony you always wanted!
[[He tries to cram the pony down the well with the aid of a large stick.]]
Man: Get… in… there… – Ugh!
—-Comic #4—-
[[A man and a woman stand in a server room.]]
Man: I like to get back to nature by coming out here to the server room. – The warmth, the whirr of the drives, the drone of the fans, the howl of the wolves…
Woman: Wolves?
Man: Yeah, we started a reintroduction program.
—-Comic #5—-
[[A man stands by himself in the frame.]]
Man: Yo momma’s so masculine that she… oh, wait, that’s your dad. – Is your mom the lady over by the door? Aww, she looks nice!
—-Comic #6—-
[[A man runs toward another man who is wearing a powdered wig, holding a gun in one hand, and a flute in the other. Behind him, someone is chasing him on a motorcycle.]]
Man: Bach, activate the magic flute and teleport us home! Wagner’s right behind me on his Ring Cycle!
—-Comic #7—-
Hotness Ratings:
[[A close up of a woman with wavy hair.]]
Incredily made-up girl on magazine cover.
((Inset of a man: “Meh.”
[[An average girl.]]
Girl in your bio class.
((Inset of man: “Two stars.”))
[[Girl with mussed hair in over-sized men’s shirt.]]
Girl in your bio class wearing one of your shirts.
Girl: Want some breakfast?
((Inset man: “Four stars.”
[[Girl with another sort of shirt speaking to an older lady.]]
Girl in your bio class wearing one of your mom’s shirts.
Girl: Thanks for the great night.
((Inset man: “Wat!”))
[[Creepy-looking girl.]]
Girl in your bio class wearing your mom’s skin like a suit.
Girl: Give Mommy a hug!
((Inset man, screaming: “AAAAAAAA”))