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November 15, 2010

#819: Five-Minute Comics: Part 1

Five-Minute Comics: Part 1

Because of a family illness, instead of regular comics, this week I’ll be sharing some strips that I drew as part of a game I played with friends. Each comic had to be written and drawn in five minutes. – Randall

—-Comic #1—-

[[A man and a woman stand facing each other.]]

Man: Jupiter will make its closest approach to Earth in decades.

[[The man points behind the woman, and the woman turns around.]]

Man: In fact, here it comes now!

[[Jupiter, about the size of the characters’ heads, hovers into the frame at about head-height.]]

Jupiter: Hey, guys.

[[Jupiter continues to hover through the frame as the characters watch it go.]]

Jupiter: Anyone need a gravitational slingshot?

Woman: No, I’m good.

Jupiter: Aight.

—-Comic #2—-

[[A man sits on a box, playing a guitar.]]

Man: …Now I don’t blame him ‘cause he ran and hid, – but the meanest thing that he ever did – was before he left, he went and named me “Trig.”

—-Comic #3—-

[[A man looks down a well.]]

Man: Oh God, a little girl is trapped down this well!

[[The man runs off screen.]]

[[He returns, leading a pony.]]

Man: It’s okay, we got you that pony you always wanted!

[[He tries to cram the pony down the well with the aid of a large stick.]]

Man: Get… in… there… – Ugh!

—-Comic #4—-

[[A man and a woman stand in a server room.]]

Man: I like to get back to nature by coming out here to the server room. – The warmth, the whirr of the drives, the drone of the fans, the howl of the wolves…

Woman: Wolves?

Man: Yeah, we started a reintroduction program.

—-Comic #5—-

[[A man stands by himself in the frame.]]

Man: Yo momma’s so masculine that she… oh, wait, that’s your dad. – Is your mom the lady over by the door? Aww, she looks nice!

—-Comic #6—-

[[A man runs toward another man who is wearing a powdered wig, holding a gun in one hand, and a flute in the other. Behind him, someone is chasing him on a motorcycle.]]

Man: Bach, activate the magic flute and teleport us home! Wagner’s right behind me on his Ring Cycle!

—-Comic #7—-

Hotness Ratings:

[[A close up of a woman with wavy hair.]]

Incredily made-up girl on magazine cover.

((Inset of a man: “Meh.”

[[An average girl.]]

Girl in your bio class.

((Inset of man: “Two stars.”))

[[Girl with mussed hair in over-sized men’s shirt.]]

Girl in your bio class wearing one of your shirts.

Girl: Want some breakfast?

((Inset man: “Four stars.”

[[Girl with another sort of shirt speaking to an older lady.]]

Girl in your bio class wearing one of your mom’s shirts.

Girl: Thanks for the great night.

((Inset man: “Wat!”))

[[Creepy-looking girl.]]

Girl in your bio class wearing your mom’s skin like a suit.

Girl: Give Mommy a hug!

((Inset man, screaming: “AAAAAAAA”))