#576: Packages

[[A dude is sitting at his computer.]]

Man: I love getting pacakges.

[[A woman enters.]]

Man: I set up a script to search eBay et. al. (sic) for $1 items with free shipping.

[[The man checks his doorstop; a package is waiting for him.]]

Man: I gave it $365, so each day it can buy me something random.

Woman: What if you just end up with lots of crap?

Man: I’ll give it away. But I’m sure I’ll end up with some interesting stuff.

[[Day 1: Length of rubber hose]]

Man: Could be handy around the house.

[[Day 2: Ski mask]]

Man: It’s spring, but hey.

[[Day 3: Bear trap]]

Man: Huh.

[[Day 4: Tourist map of the Pentagon]]

Woman: Uh oh.

[[Day 5: Lube]]

Man: I’m stopping this before I end up on every F.B.I. watch list ever.