January 5, 2009
#526: Converting to Metric
Guide to Converting to Metric
The key to converting to metric is establishing
new reference points. When you hear “26 degrees centigrade”,
instead of thinking “That’s 79 degrees fahrenheit” you should think,
“that’s warmer then a house but cool for swimming.”
here are some helpful tables of reference points:
Temperature:
60 degrees centigrade - Earth’s Hottest
45 degrees centigrade - Dubai Heat Wave
40 degrees centigrade - Southern US Heat Wave
35 degrees centigrade - Northern US Heat Wave
30 degrees centigrade - Beach weather
25 degrees centigrade - Warm Room
20 degrees centigrade - Room Temperature
10 degrees centigrade - Jacket Weather
0 degrees centigrade - Snow!
-5 degrees centigrade - Cold Day (Boston)
-10 degrees centigrade - Cold Day (Moscow)
-20 degrees centigrade - FuckFuckFuckCold
-30 degrees centigrade - Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
-30 degrees centigrade - Spit goes “ckink”
[[Stick figure next to last three lines]]
Man: «Pthoo» [[Man spits]]
Spit: «Clink!» [[Spit bounces off ground]]
Length
1cm - Width of microSD card
3cm - Length of SD card
12cm - CD Diameter
14cm - Penis
15cm - BIC pen
80cm - Doorway width
1m - Lightsaber Blade
170cm - Summer Glau
200cm - Darth Vader
2.5m - Ceiling
5m - Car-length
16m4cm - Human tower of Serenity crew
[[Human tower of Serenity crew stick figures depicted taking up from second line of panel to bottom]]
Speed
5 kph - 1.5 m
s - Walking
13 kph - 3.5 m
s - Jogging
25 kph - 7 m
s - Sprinting
35 kph - 10 m
s - Fastest Human
45 kph - 13 m
s - Housecat
55 kph - 15 m
s - Rabbit
75 kph - 20 m
s - Raptor
100 kph - 25 m
s - Slow Highway
110 kph - 30 m
s - Interstate (65 MPH)
120 kph - 35 m
s - Speed you actually go when it says “65”
140 kph - 40 m
s - Raptor on Hoverboard
Volume
3mL - Blood in a fieldmouse
5mL - Teaspoon
30mL - Nasal Passages
40mL - Shot Glass
So when it’s {{Nasal Passages}} blocked, the mucus in your nose could about fill a shot glass.
[[Image of a shot glass]] Related: I’ve invented the worst mixed drink ever.
350mL - Soda Can
500mL - Water Bottle
3L - Two-Liter Bottle
5L - Blood in a Human Male
30L - Milk Crate
55L - Summer Glau
65L - Dennis Kucinich
75L - Ron Paul
200L - Fridge
[[Stick figure shoving stick figures of Ron Paul, Summer Glau, and Dennis Kucinich into fridge]]
[[Above fridge, circled, is 55+65+75 < 200]]
Mass
3g - Peanut M&M
100g - Cell Phone
500g - Bottled Water
1kg - Ultraportable Laptop
2kg - Light-Medium Laptop
3kg - Heavy Laptop
5kg - LCD Monitor
15kg - CRT Monitor
4kg - Cat [[Drawing of cat]]
4.1kg - Cat (With Caption) [[Drawing of cat, going “Mrowl?”, and holding a caption]]
60kg - Lady
70kg - Dude
150kg - Shaq
[[Stick figure of lady and dude beside previous 3 lines]]
200kg - Your Mom
220kg - Your Mom (incl. cheap jewelrey)
223kg - Your Mom (also incl. Makeup)