January 5, 2009
#526: Converting to Metric explain
Guide to Converting to Metric
[There are five frames with tables for different units. Between the two upper frames is the following text:]
The key to converting to metric is establishing new reference points. When you hear “26°C”, instead of thinking “that’s 79°F” you should think, “that’s warmer than a house but cool for swimming.”
Here are some helpful tables of reference points:
[The frame in the top left lists the following temperatures on the left, with the corresponding descriptions on the right. Next to the last three entries we see Cueball spitting on the ground. The spit freezes.]
Temperature
60°C Earth’s hottest
45°C Dubai heat wave
40°C Southern US heat wave
35°C Northern US heat wave
30°C Beach weather
25°C Warm room
20°C Room temperature
10°C Jacket weather
0°C Snow!
-5°C Cold day (Boston)
-10°C Cold day (Moscow)
-20°C Fuckfuckfuckcold
-30°C Fuuuuuuuuuuck!
-40°C Spit goes “clink”
Cueball: Ptoo
Spit: Clink!
[The frame in the top right lists the following lengths on the left, with their corresponding descriptions on the right. To the right of the table is a human tower of four of the people from the Serenity crew. The head of the upper person is right below the first entry.]
Length
1 cm Width of microSD card
3 cm Length of SD card
12 cm CD diameter
14 cm Penis
15 cm BIC pen
80 cm Doorway width
1 m Lightsaber blade
170 cm Summer Glau
200 cm Darth Vader
2.5 m Ceiling
5 m Car-length
16 m 4 cm Human tower of Serenity crew.
[The frame in the bottom left has three columns]
Speed
kph m/s
5 1.5 Walking
13 3.5 Jogging
25 7 Sprinting
35 10 Fastest human
45 13 Housecat
55 15 Rabbit
75 20 Raptor
100 25 Slow highway
110 30 Interstate (65 mph)
120 35 Speed you actually go when it says “65”
140 40 Raptor on hoverboard
[The frame in the bottom middle lists the following volumes on the left, with their corresponding descriptions on the right.
Volume
3 mL Blood in a fieldmouse
5 mL Teaspoon
30 mL Nasal passages
40 mL Shot glass
350 mL Soda can
500 mL Water bottle
3 L Two-liter bottle
5 L Blood in a human male
30 L Milk crate
55 L Summer Glau
65 L Dennis Kucinich
75 L Ron Paul
200 L Fridge
[Next to the entry on nasal passages and shot glass (starting one entry higher and finishing one entry lower) is the following text:]
So, when it’s blocked, the mucus in your nose could about fill a shot glass.
[Below this text is a drawing of a mucus filled shot glass.]
Related: I’ve invented the worst mixed drink ever.
[Below this next to the four last entries we see Cueball shoving Summer Glau, Dennis Kucinich, and Ron Paul into an open fridge. Above the fridge in a loosely drawn ellipse is the following text:]
55+65+75 < 200
[The frame in the bottom right lists the following masses on the left, with their corresponding descriptions on the right
3 g Peanut M&M
100 g Cell phone
500 g Bottled water
1 kg Ultraportable laptop
2 kg Light-medium laptop
3 kg Heavy laptop
5 kg LCD monitor
15 kg CRT monitor
4 kg Cat
4.1 kg Cat (with caption)
60 kg Lady
70 kg Dude
150 kg Shaq
200 kg Your mom
220 kg Your mom (incl. cheap jewelry)
223 kg Your mom (also incl. makeup)
[Next to the entries of cat and cat (with caption) are two drawings of cats. The second one has a caption across its chest.]
Cat (with caption): Mrowl?
[Below this and next to the lady and dude entries are drawings of Megan and Cueball.]