#472: House of Pancakes explain

[All instances of the word “House” are in blue. Text is a mix of ‘Printed’ (hi-res serifed proportional font), ‘Typed’ (more crude-looking non-proportional serifed font) and ‘Written’ (freetext, in standard xkcd AllCaps style, having the occasional decoration and emphasis added).]

[Above the ‘frame’ is Typed text:] Every day a new city, a new IHOP. And yet every night the dreams get worse. I ply the highways, a nervous eye on the rear-view mirror, the back seat piled with stolen menus. Their doors are opened 24 hours, but forever closed to my soul. This is what my life has become. This is my hell.

[A bordered frame, in the style of an (illustrated and annotated) menu. We see two columns of product descriptions, three full ones and in each column and a hint of a fourth going beyond the bottom of the frame.]

[Each clear description generally start with a product name, in bold, and a product description, all in Printed text. To the left of these are an illustrative image which has a barely legible caption seemingly identical to the product namr header, and a stylistic ‘angled shadow’ set subtly behind it. In each description text there may be at least one footnote-number in superscript and square-brackets. Below each are Typed footnote paragraphs (mostly) relating to the footnote numbers in the above description. Additional scribbles are Written around and alongside the above, as text, doodles and other marks of one type or another.]

[Menu header:]

[Sidenote left, Written:] International

[Printed header:] House of Pancakes

[Scribbled-out sidenote, Written to the right:] BLOGSPOT

[Item subheader, top of first column:] Strawberry Banana Pancakes

[Item description:] Four pancakes filled with sliced fresh banana and crowned with cool strawberry topping, more [17] bananas and [23] whipped topping.

[Footnote 17, with three smudged fingerprints over parts of this and the top of the next item down (a fourth, perhaps, far to the bottom of the framed area):] Driven by a nameless fear, a whisper in the dark behind me, I flee ahead of I know not what. Whenver I turn, there’s nobody behind me. And yet someone is clearly stealing the ketchup. WHY?

[Footnote 23, sandwiched incongruously and sideways from low to high, mostly between the images of the Stuffed French Toast and Ham and Egg Melt items, to the right:] My life is feeding, fleeing, fighting, and forgetting.

[Item subheader, second down on left column:] Rooty Jr.

[Item description, a splash of red (ketchup/blood) within it, further (secondary?) spatters and red marks, possibly including an attempt to create mostly unintelligable letters, spread on or around lower passages:] A kids only [19] version of our house signature Rooty Tooty. One scrambled egg, one strip of bacon, one pork sausage link and one fruit-topped buttermilk pancake.

[Footnote 19:] The decision not to hyphenate “kids only” is likely connected to the omission of the serial comma. I wonder if the author is British. I wonder if he sleeps at night.

[Item subheader, third down on left:] Rise ‘N Shine

[Item description:] Two eggs, toast and hash browns served with your choice [21] of two strips of bacon or two pork sausage links.

[Footnote 21, starting with an small word (possibly (I") made illegible by one of the spatters of red:] rent a storage unit. Sleep there. Fill it with pancakes. Leave.

[Item subheader, top of right column:] Stuffed French Toast

[Item description:] Cinnamon raisin French [18] toast stuffed with sweet cream cheese filling, topped with cool strawberry or your choice of fruit compote and whipped topping.

[Footnote 18:] Nightmares again. I wake up covered in sweat, and what appears to be a thin sheen of maple syrup

[Inserted text, Written with emphasis and underlined:] WHO IS MOHAWK GIRL?

[Item header, second down at right, which is sideways (low to high) in the general position that the horizontal text would normally be, next to the normally-set product image:] Ham & Egg Melt

[Item description, also sideways and consistently ‘below’ (to the right of) its header:] Grilled sourdough bread stuffed with ham, scrambled eggs, Swiss and American cheeses. [20]

[Footnote 20, normally orientated and positioned:] Ordered this in at an IHOP in Rochester, New York. There was blood on the floor. Some of it was mine.

[Small drawn doodle, inserted, of three instances of a Cueball, the middle one holding out an item (gun?) to the right, followed by a ground feature (pool of liquid?)]

[Written above the second (and third) Cueball:] Enough with your pancakes.

[Written above the ‘pool’, two words heavily bolded:] Enough with your GOD DAMN pancakes.

[Item header, third on the right:] The Big Steak Omlette

[Item description, a few words of text has been censored by a black strip:] Tender strips of steak, hash browns, [censorship strip, long enough to obscure perhaps 4-6 typical words] tomatoes and Cheddar cheese. Served [22] with house salsa.

[Footnote 22:] Woke up in Las Vegas. They’re closing the Star Trek Experience today. The IHOP up the strip had pancake platters named after various states. None of them sounded like home.