#424: Security Holes

[[Man sitting at computer]]I’ll just comment out these lines…

MD_update(&m, buf, j);

do_not_crash();

prevent_911();

In the rush to clean up the debian-openssl fiasco, a number of other major security holes have been uncovered:

Fedora Core: Vulnerable to certain decoder rings

Xandros (EEE PC): Gives root access if asked in a stern voice

Gentoo: Vulnerable to flattery

OLPC OS: Vulnerable to Jeff Goldblum’s Powerbook

Slackware: Gives root access if user says Elvish word for “friend”

Ubuntu: Turns out distro is actually just Windows Vista with a few custom Themes.