April 9, 2008
Girl: I know you’re not that into my sister, but she’s really crushing on you.
Boy: Yeah, it’s awkward.
Girl: She’s in a rough spot. It’s a lot to ask, but could you take her out and … dissuade her, without rejecting her?
Boy: Wait a second. Are you asking me to show her a mediocre time?
Girl: I know it’s a weird–
Boy: [Raising index finger.] No, no! This is the mission I was born for.
Girl: I figured you could handle it.
Boy: One of my classic high-school dates coming up!
Girl: Oh God. Don’t overdo it.
[Alt text: To anyone I’ve taken on a terrible date, this is retroactively my cover story.]