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October 28, 2008

#495: Secretary: Part 2

Secretary: Part 2

News Anchor: Breaking news–the President has made a nomination to the new post of Internet Secretary. We know little about the man, shown here.

Image Caption: Possibly a haberdasher?

News Anchor: Attempts to reach the nominee at home were unsuccessful.

Reporter: What the hell kind of apartment has a moat?

News Anchor: To understand the culture from which he came–and which he may soon administer–we sent a reporter to what we’re told is the source of that culture. Tom?

Tom: I’m coming to you live from the 4chan


board. Despite the tube cloggage, nascent memes are flying fast and furious.

News Anchor: Why are you wearing a helmet, Tom?

Tom: I’m not sure.

[[Meanwhile in Ron Paul’s blimp…]]

Ron Paul: Ahoy! What news of the blogs?

Pilot: Dr. Paul! The President’s named his nominee!

Ron Paul: It’s not me?

Ron Paul: Wait! I remember that guy from the campaign! He’s a notorious troll!

Ron Paul: They mustn’t put him in charge. Quick, call the capitol!

Pilot: Can’t, sir. The tubes just went down completely.

Ron Paul: Blast!

Ron Paul: Then we’ll go ourselves. Full speed ahead!

{{The blimp advances minutely.}}

{{The blimp advances minutely.}}

{{The blimp advances minutely.}}

Ron Paul: I said full speed!

Pilot: It’s a blimp, sir!