September 28, 2007
#322: Pix Plz
[[A man stands in the entrance to a room. The door has been broken down. A surprised nerd has turned away from his computer to face the remains of the door.]]
Man: Hi. I’m here about the girl who visited your IRC channel last night looking for Java help.
Nerd: What did you do to my door?
Man: When someone with a feminine username joins your community and you say “OMG a woman on the Internet” and “jokingly” ask for naked pics, you are being an asshole. You are not being ironic. You are not cracking everybody up. You are the number one reason women are so rare on the Internet.
Man: At least, the parts of it you frequent.
[[Woman enters the room, holding some sort of device.]]
Man: As someone who likes nerdy girls, I do not appreciate this. I’m here to ban you from the Internet. The gal behind me with the EMP cannon is Joanna – she’ll be assigned to you for the next year. Try to go online and she’ll melt your PC.
Nerd: Dude, she’s hot. Is she single?
Man: Joanna, fire.